


Large, Looming, and Elegant

by CadetDru



Category: What We Do in the Shadows (TV)
Genre: Bad Hypnosis, Hypnosis, M/M, Minor Guillermo/Nandor the Relentless (What We Do in the Shadows TV), Panera Bread, Pre-Canon, Synonyms are hard, Tags Are Hard, Vampires, meet cute, tall dark and handsome
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-25
Updated: 2020-07-25
Packaged: 2021-03-05 06:08:27
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 726
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25499611
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CadetDru/pseuds/CadetDru
Summary: Guillermo caught his breath.  The man was tall, dark, and handsome; dressed like a cosplaying vampire with a hell of a budget. He was another thing that Guillermo wouldn't know what to do with if it fell into his lap. Guillermo knew just what he would want to do if he fell into Tall, Dark, and Brocade's lap. He would do anything that he could, anything that he was allowed.
Relationships: Guillermo de la Cruz & Nandor the Relentless, Guillermo de la Cruz/Nandor the Relentless
Comments: 5
Kudos: 53





	Large, Looming, and Elegant

Guillermo wasn't eligible for rehire at Panera Bread, and it was completely his own fault. It wasn't supposed to be Guillermo's last shift. He wasn't even supposed to be working that night. He had a full week ahead, he was just covering. He was at the Panera Bread register, ready to ask if people wanted more bread with their bread until the lights went out.

He daydreamed about the impermanent death of beaming a vampire. He had decades of life ahead of him. He probably wasn't in the prime of his life, was barely even an adult. He wouldn't know what to do with immortality if it fell into his lap. He was perfectly willing to learn. 

He saw a shadow outside the window. A man was shouting in from the dark. "Just come in," Guillermo grumbled.

"That counts!" The man shouted. Guillermo was surprised that he could hear it, but it almost seemed to register more in his head than his ears. The stranger rushed in, faster than anyone should have been able to manage. He loomed at the register, staring down at Guillermo.

Guillermo caught his breath. The man was tall, dark, and handsome; dressed like a cosplaying vampire with a hell of a budget. He was another thing that Guillermo wouldn't know what to do with if it fell into his lap. Guillermo knew just what he would want to do if he fell into Tall, Dark, and Brocade's lap. He would do anything that he could, anything that he was allowed.

"I wish to know where you keep the virgins," the man said.

Guillermo tried to place the accent before processing the words. "I don't keep any virgins but myself," he said before processing his own words.

He didn't think of what he'd said until Tall, Dark, and Cape smiled. The smile included two pointy teeth. Guillermo's smile didn't, but it could soon enough. 

"I mean… this is a Panera," Guillermo said. "We have...soup." He was only able to use whole sentences if he was saying embarrassing things. "do you want soup?

"Do you know how to hammer boards?" Tall, Looming, and Handsome asked.

Guillermo wasn't sure if that was an idiom wherever the stranger was from, preferably one that involved pounding of some sort. "Like...hammer and nails?"

"Yes," the stranger said. "My attic is falling apart, it needs many repairs."

Guillermo licked his back molars. He could work with this. "So, you need a handyman?"

Nandor nodded. He waved his hand, long fingers twirling, his ring catching Guillermo's eye. "I have need of a valet."

"To find you virgins and fix your attic?" Guillermo said. His voice sounded more snarky than seductive. He didn't know how to fix that in the moment, hoped that he could fix it in time.

Large, Strangely Ashen, and Sensual looked around. No one was paying attention to them. Someone probably should have. He leaned in towards Guillermo. "I am a vampire!" he said in the loudest whisper that Guillermo had ever heard.

Guillermo didn't say any of the things that came to mind, on the general theme of expressing his complete lack of surprise and how obvious this man was. "That's incredible," he finally said. 

"There are some who would want to become a vampire too," the stranger said.

"Yeah, I'm those some," Guillermo said, speaking before running the words through his head. "I mean, I want to be a vampire."

"I am Nandor the Relentless," the man said. He reached out to Guillermo's nametag. "Guillermo," he said, stumbling over the few syllables. He met Guillermo's eyes, his fingers still touching Guillermo's chest. "You will come home with me now."

"I really can't," Guillermo started to say. He was cut short by long fingers brushing over his lips. He knew he was breathing because of the way that Nandor's fingers moved slightly on his lips.

Guillermo nodded. Nandor dropped his hand. Guillermo came from behind the register. They walked out, Nandor's hand on Guillermo's shoulder as he guided him down the street. Guillermo didn't go back for five days, and that was just to drop off his uniform. His last check was mailed to him. 

Years later, when he reflected in this moment, Guillermo would become more and more certain that Nandor had failed to hypnotize him in any kind of supernatural way.


End file.
